Public Relations

I had to use a public restroom today.
The floor is so sticky.
It sounds like I'm driving in a parking garage.
I can't urinate in the urinal, someone took a dump in it.
Oh boy, now I have to take a dump.
This stall seems nice.
Gosh these doors are sticky.
Great.. Piss on the seat.
Good thing there is.. oh, nope. No toilet paper.
Next stall.
Damn it! Piss again, on the floor too.
Hooray for toilet paper.
Now for the tissue paper.
Who invented this?
What idiot thought, "You know what would protect my ass from disease in a public bathroom?"
"Tissue Paper!"
Better use two sheets.
Gosh is it humid in here. I'm sweating.
Shit i forgot my phone.
At least I can read the walls.
"For a good time call 997-312-4859."
Too bad its out of my area code.
Who wants to travel for a good time.
Damn. Well I can't shit without my phone.
Oh god someone else is in here!
Shit! We just made eye contact.
What idiot invented these walls.
And why haven't they changed them.
Looks like I'll have to stay in here until he leaves.