A Special Report

Parking lots. What do we know about them? What was under them before they got paved?

WIH: Mr. Lot, thanks for being here.

PL: thanks for having me.

WIH: Which part of the earth did you ruin?

PL: cars gotta park

WIH: well said.

Traffic

WIH: Mr. Post. welcome back.

P: thx

WIH: we understand that you are related to nancy reagan.

P: that's true

WIH: uh so how?

P: i was conceived when nance tried a metal dildo

WIH: gross

P: she didn't just say no

WIH: right

P: now all i do is stand around, high as fuck all day. shouldn't have been born

WIH: the feeling is mutual

P: they hung these traffic lights on me, and a dumb anti-drug message that nobody takes seriously

WIH: i thought that was a joke sign some teenagers attached.

P: nope. ppl actually believe drugs are bad

WIH: whaa?

P: really

WIH: what are your plans for the future?

P: prolly gonna get high, despite this silly sign.

WIH: did you ever think you'd be happier if you just said no?

P: i am a fucking post. cemented to the ground. the fuck else am i supposed to do?

WIH: good point but dude chill. have this

P: inhaleexhale

WIH: inhaleexhale.

P: so that ronald reagan was a real cunt, no?

WIH: just say no to supply-side econ, amirite?

P: laffing so hard.

WIH: oh man i think we gotta take a break

P: til next time

WIH: seeya

jay gee ell

plz welcome geosiph garden leffit

WIH: so i was trying to watch pornography and i accidentally saw yr stupid trailer. dang vawn.

JGL: jean-vaughn

WIH: whatever. it was annoying

JGL: is this an interview?

WIH: not a big fan of those glasses, but i am too lazy to find out if u actually need glasses.

JGL: i do.

WIH: why not contacts?

JGL: not nearly as cool

WIH: How'd yr latest movie do?

JGL: p. well advertised on porn sites

WIH: brilliant

JGL: thank you. very much

WIH: what is next for you?

JGL: imma be an actual porn director some day

WIH: pretty ambitious.

JGL: i am cool enuf

WIH: good interview

JGL: over?

WIH: we think so.

JGL: thanks

WIH: no thank you

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